“Turbulence is life force. It is opportunity. Let’s love turbulence and use it for change.” ~Ramsey Clark
I’m writing this in my “notes” on my phone as I am getting tossed around like a rag doll in my plane seat from the turbulence as I soar at 30,000ft over the Colorado Rockies.
I’m looking out the window at the snow capped peaks and have a sense of “home” in my heart that I feel no where else than when I’m in CO. It’s like breathing the high mountain air (even the recirculated air in the plane) brings me back to life.
That’s not to say that I don’t lead a full, vibrant life where I live in California. I own my own business (run out of my home gym). I have an irreplaceable community. Marcus’ family (also my family) lives just steps away. We have a beautiful home on a private lake. We are healthy. Marcus and I have a life most would long for. But there is ALWAYS something missing from my heart until I hit these mountains. Mental clarity. Peace of mind. I can’t explain it!
I decided to write this blog because as I’m riding along on this roller coaster of a plane ride, it made me think of my life.
I am NOT EVEN CLOSE to where I thought I’d be at this stage in my life. Truly on all facets! Not one! It’s not good, it’s not bad, it just is. No label.
Every choice I have made in my life has led me to where I am today (maybe). The good decisions, the bad decisions, the stupid decisions. Sometimes I feel like I’m hanging on for dear life! Sometimes with a death grip and sometimes with just the tips of my fingers. Sometimes this crazy ride teaches me a lesson and sometimes it doesn’t. Ever feel like this? Or am I walking solo here?
Right now, in my life, I feel like I’m hanging on with all my might. My candle is being burnt at all ends and it’s okay. It’s by choice and I know there’s an end in sight. But I guess I’m writing this to say that life is not going to be butterflies and rainbows. How boring it would be if it was! Even if you eat perfectly clean, exercise regularly, mediate, sit with yourself and do all of the self-care tips I talked about in my last blog, often things still will be bumpy and rocky and knock you upside the head (literally I just banged my head on the wall of the plane)!
I know I just said all the decision I have made up to this point have gotten me to where I am today, but I also don’t 100% believe that (hence the “maybe”). I think the universe, God, Allah, whoever you believe guides us, has a plan and even though we think we have some control, really we are just along for this turbulent ride to our destiny. So maybe, we should just breathe in that mountain air (or your equivalent). Feel it rushing through our veins and energizing our soul. Maybe we should all stop trying so damn hard, worrying so damn much and just enjoy the turbulence.